1. I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall.
Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of
numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to
formulate an appropriate response to your request.
2. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of
the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received
anything at all.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you
send me until I return on April 1st. Please be patient and your Mail
will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99
for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your
message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try
sending again.***
(***The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how
many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.
8. I've run away to join a different circus.
9. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Marvin'
instead of 'Mary".
老外真搞
