强生操实在是太骚了

我只看了第一句

我记得concern about不是这么用的说

[本帖最后由 風使い 于 2009-4-12 13:46 编辑]

lz的妹妹肯定过不了英文4级

第一段话就可以被秒杀了

be concerned about 指关心、挂念......

这简历给鬼佬看会被直接秒杀的……


语法和用词错误倒在其次，关键是条理不清晰，每一段都要集中讲一个意思才好，比如第一段谈教育背景，第二段谈工作经历，第三段谈吹捧用人单位和吹捧自己，等等。

[本帖最后由 rugermini 于 2009-4-12 14:33 编辑]

第一句确实太那啥了,你就直接说major in好了......

神啊....求您的模版!!

顶楼的就是从这里摘取出来的啊

没层次么？
我分了三块，
第一块是在教育部分的
第二块是语言部分的
第三块分了4段介绍工作经验，第1段是介绍我当前的公司，第2段是我参加过的项目组，第3段是我工作中获得的实践经验，第4段是这个行业常见软件我的熟悉和使用情况

lz妹子是进中行的高材生吗

LZ，我读你回复的语气，不像是跟各位在请教，而是在跟大家较劲，我觉得谦虚点没错，你再这么拧下去没人肯教你了。

就这幅腔调求职也很困难，多想想吧。

妹子=GF
妹妹=妹妹
谢谢

本来觉得写得还行的东西，上来就被几乎所有人全盘否定，不免有些郁闷
不过我翻来覆去的看了下之前的回复，还真没觉得哪里很高腔调了
不过就在你这楼下的回复，确实语气重了点，难道您未卜先知了

[本帖最后由 crazyundead 于 2009-4-12 17:20 编辑]

I had registered as an ACCA student and passed 9 of 14 its qualification exams. I am now opted into the ACCA/Oxford Brookes Degree Partnership.

[本帖最后由 crazyundead 于 2009-4-12 17:23 编辑]

Excellent English reading and comprehensive ability through 4 years ACCA study. Fluent and proficient communication in both spoken and written English

[本帖最后由 crazyundead 于 2009-4-12 17:24 编辑]

XX（我现在的公司） is one of the biggest local firms in Jiangsu Province and most of its clients are listed companies or in an IPO process. The working papers we produce are under scrutiny by China's Securities Regulatory Commission.

I attended the year end procedures of several famous companies which are leading companies of their industries in the country, Such as SUNING APPLIANCE CO., LTD, JIANGSU SAINTY CORP., LTD.

During my two years’ auditing work career, I am getting into known more about the common used audit techniques and common knowledge of accounting standards (Especially the new accounting standards enforced from 1st Jan 2007 as it is much more compliance with the International Accounting Standards).

楼主你不如发中文版的上来，让大家帮你写写，这英文版的看起来非常头痛，真不好修改

I have a good understanding of the risk approach and am able to identify inherent risk (at both financial statement level and assertion level) and control risk. At the substantive tests, I can use analytical procedures such as “proof in total” ”reasonable test” and ”trend analysis” to obtain detailed audit evidence.

I am familiar with some ERP system widely used, such as Kingdee K3, UFIDA ERP-NC and SAP. Excel is the major tool I use to process data and I have a well knowledge and understanding of the application of the function system in the software.

我觉得吧，写简历不要用太多的主语，甚至避免使用结构完整的句子。短语词组能搞定最好，宁短勿长。装孙给的pdf似乎支持了我这个观点

这跟英文无关

根据我本人的经验，简历千万不要写这么大段的文字，没人看！！我可以打包票！
而想抓住人，就一定要用bullet points，清晰简明，而且可以把事情说清楚，再者，主要叙述你工作中的responsibility和accomplishment两块， 给你写个个例子吧：

Responsibility:
-bring orgazm to hot girls
-ensure to take condoms for every session
-ensure to loss those girls right after

Accomplishment:
-f**ked 10 girls in 5 days
-lasted at least 3 hours for a session
- dumped 8 girls afer one night stand, still working on the rests

LZ明白我的意思了吧，就是简明扼要的把你做过什么要做什么讲清楚就可以了。。。

装孙终于被楼上超越了

I 开头的句子太多。反正要慢慢改。

内容上修饰性词太多了。多点干货

Responsibility:
-bring orgazm to hot girls
-ensure to take condoms for every session
-ensure to loss those girls right after

Accomplishment:
-f**ked 10 girls in 5 days
-lasted at least 3 hours for a session
- dumped 8 girls afer one night stand, still working on the rests

Talent:
1 foot length, 5 inches girth

你的头像。。。。错得真美丽

看看多大。

抛砖引玉，先修改一句试试看。
原文：I had registered as an ACCA student and passed 9 of 14 its qualification exams. I am now opted into the ACCA/Oxford Brookes Degree Partnership.

我建议改为：Having registered as an ACCA student, I've already passed 9 of 14 tests, and was secelected as member of ACCA/Oxford Brookes Degree Partnership.

“Excellent English reading and comprehensive ability through 4 years ACCA study. Fluent and proficient communication in both spoken and written English”
改为：
Native English speaker， good at both reading, writing and spoken English after 4 years' ACCA study.
不过貌似这么写有点夸张……

XX（我现在的公司） is one of the biggest local firms in Jiangsu Province and most of its clients are listed companies or in an IPO process. The working papers we produce are under scrutiny by China's Securities Regulatory Commission.

改为：
As one of the biggest domestic companies in Jiang Su Province, XX produce working papers under supervision of China's Securities Regulatory Commission, while most of its clients and customers are listed companies in the stock market or in an IPO process.

对你的修改意见我也发表下个人看法，纯粹是向您学习讨教，绝无抬杠之意，希望没有给您如之前某位版主所说的“拧”“较近”“耍腔调”“不谦虚”的感觉

ACCA是职业认证，这14门全球统考每门的考试费700多块你说它是test也太委屈人了连我们网站报名的那栏都说exam来的，不太明白为什么要改成test
第二句话其实应该不用改的，这是我考试成绩单下面的一段原话，我只是把you are 改成了 i am...别的朋友可以绕开这句了

语言这段本来只想写个6级就完了的，我上面那段文字是从某个英文简历模版里抄袭来的:D 只加了个through 4 years ACCA study，这样表述“通过四年的学习”应该问题也不大吧？会不会很中国英语？

感觉有点儿反复了
直接说excellent communication skills in English
或直接说
skilled at communicating in English

[本帖最后由 realzeus 于 2009-4-12 23:55 编辑]

我打个岔，既然是在国内事务所做的，为何没有提及注册会计师 考试？

ACCA也是注册会计师啊，只不过是英国的而已

真让我左右为难了，上面的朋友说尽量用短句的...
教育那部分我除了学校名字外，就这两句话说明大学以外的职业资质考试情况
英语是不用太抠啊，但是test测试和exam考试的意思还是差了太多了吧，他要是以为我参加的是什么山寨机构搞得ACCA小测验怎么办

参92楼

另外你是说砍IPO process?这个不是炫耀文采的东西啊
Initial Public Offering 是我们除了上市公司客户外的另一类客户，他们还没有上市，但已经处于首次公开募集资金的程序之中了，对于他们的审计，也是要求有证券从业资格的会计师事务所
加上它只是对我们客户范围的完善，特别现在创业板即将推出，有大量的客户就是属于为了上创业板而IPO中

打个岔，你是还想往其他firm蹦 还是想去企业

话说你这是介绍你自个儿还是介绍你公司啊
要介绍那么清楚干嘛，要我说，让人知道这公司是省内最大已经ok了

厄...省内几乎可以算是最大，但是在全国也排到20名之后的会计师事务所了，况且国内有证券从业资格的事物所近百所，如果我是投到南京德勤的话，确实报个名字就可以去面试了，本所的口碑在那里确实还不错
目前是为了妹子想跳到深圳去，那里的外资所就不一定了解我之前所在事务所的质量了...

做的工作基本就是对各科目执行审计程序，工作很繁杂，这些工作基本可以统称为year end procedures，这个我也在里面提到了
所以我觉得说做过什么不如说会做什么，所以后面介绍我对risk approach的介绍，我对一些具体的审计程序的了解（之前有人说我写的太不具体了，所以补充的:D ）

经你一说，语言能力那段确实值得商榷，

其他firm
在事务所待习惯了，感觉很难适应企业了